For TAC Staff, andrewgibby is pretty easily our favorite contemporary poet. Last year, they released their 6th album, “Truce”. We also speak about how Andrea views the creative process behind their…
dear little andrea,
i know right now they’re telling you jesus walked on water. i want you to know that no matter what you grow up to believe you will never try to wrestle a miracle away from anyone’s reason to live, and you will full heartedly believe the air that you breathe is a miracle, and you won’t settle for poking holes in the lid, even when you want to die, you’ll suddenly notice you’re wearing a seatbelt on your way to the cliff, and you’ll start laughing just in time.
Finally started writing a letter to my younger self for the “Note to Self” project. Check it out: http://yournotetoself.tumblr.com/
I was just married
can trampoline the bouncing back.
Call my ring finger
whatever I use
to flip off the shame.
I am always a groom
with a heavy heavy heart
learning to pull my own weight
i weigh less than i do.
BRAVE is a hand me down suit
from TERRIFIED AS HELL.
Dress me in whatever
will get me through the door
of my heart.
Love is not the only closet
I was told never to come out of.
There was also the closet of Grief.
The closet of Panic.
The closet of Terror.
The closet of Rage.
There was also the closet of Awe and Want and Bliss.
Every honest grit that we feel,
the world will ask for a stencil instead,
for the chatter of cordial manufactured polite.
I want to jackknife out of that net.
my therapist says that we are all at any given time, doing our best, no matter what we’re doing. i struggle to believe that sometimes, but i always believe that the people who leave this world on purpose were trying like hell, trying their very very best, to stay. what fills me with grief is knowing how difficult the staying is, for so many. to understand that when the pain becomes unbearablethe choosing to leave has nothing at all to do with weakness. I lived so many days of my life struggling to want to stay alive. I have so many friends who have struggled to want to stay alive. friends struggling right now to want to stay alive. i have lost people i loved to the weight of the pain. most of us have. what i know is on my hardest days, when i did not want to continue living, the thing that comforted me the most was being reminded that other people were feeling what i was feeling. knowing i was not alone. i don’t know why, but that knowing, more times than not, was the thing that would carry me through. there is so much that can be done to shift our conversations (or lack thereof) around mental health/illness. i want to do more than what i’m doing right now. i want to do so much more. and i want to never ever again answer “fine” when someone asks me how i am. i am officially boycotting the word “fine.” Fuck “fine”. what a hoax that word is.