I was just married
can trampoline the bouncing back.
Call my ring finger
whatever I use
to flip off the shame.
I am always a groom
with a heavy heavy heart
learning to pull my own weight
i weigh less than i do.
BRAVE is a hand me down suit
from TERRIFIED AS HELL.
Dress me in whatever
will get me through the door
of my heart.
Love is not the only closet
I was told never to come out of.
There was also the closet of Grief.
The closet of Panic.
The closet of Terror.
The closet of Rage.
There was also the closet of Awe and Want and Bliss.
Every honest grit that we feel,
the world will ask for a stencil instead,
for the chatter of cordial manufactured polite.
I want to jackknife out of that net.
my therapist says that we are all at any given time, doing our best, no matter what we’re doing. i struggle to believe that sometimes, but i always believe that the people who leave this world on purpose were trying like hell, trying their very very best, to stay. what fills me with grief is knowing how difficult the staying is, for so many. to understand that when the pain becomes unbearablethe choosing to leave has nothing at all to do with weakness. I lived so many days of my life struggling to want to stay alive. I have so many friends who have struggled to want to stay alive. friends struggling right now to want to stay alive. i have lost people i loved to the weight of the pain. most of us have. what i know is on my hardest days, when i did not want to continue living, the thing that comforted me the most was being reminded that other people were feeling what i was feeling. knowing i was not alone. i don’t know why, but that knowing, more times than not, was the thing that would carry me through. there is so much that can be done to shift our conversations (or lack thereof) around mental health/illness. i want to do more than what i’m doing right now. i want to do so much more. and i want to never ever again answer “fine” when someone asks me how i am. i am officially boycotting the word “fine.” Fuck “fine”. what a hoax that word is.
"Whatever our privileges are, we always want to be using that to work against oppression and to work towards healing and safety for everyone."
Here are our friends Andrea and Kelsey, the co-creators of one of our favorite organizations, Stay Here with Me! We asked about their role models, the wonderful work they do, and how you can be a part of it.
Also check out the latest from Note to Self, our current project together!: http://yournotetoself.tumblr.com/post/93784885342/the-first-time
is you can’t help
to be always
out for blood,
even if it’s your own.
there were times
I went hunting for him
in my skin.
There were times
was his grin.
If you hit the right vein
you bleed in spurts
trying to hold
their laughter in.
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all…that in the middle of winter, I finally found that within me there lies an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger—something better, pushing right back.
Hello Everyone! Here is an article I wrote for the amazing When We Say Yes Campaign from The Body Is Not an Apology. Check it out!
Andrea Gibson’s essay is submitted as part of The Body is Not An Apology’s #WhenWeSayYES Campaign. Raising money to build the world’s most powerful radical self love website. Give Here:www.igg.me/at/whenwesayyes
[The above photograph is of Artist Activist Andrea Gibson in a bent over…